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On Friday night (of a holiday weekend at that), nearly every shop in the tiny tourist town was closing early – it was just too hot. Whatever youthful diversions we might’ve pursued slammed up hard against midlife and the morning’s mislaid deodorant. Ironically, we followed a cool blast of the last air conditioning into the only place still open; a toy store. I felt like I should buy something to offset their energy bills, and prepare for a Saturday spent indoors.

Today’s 2-Minute Tale

As activities go, at 45 I find myself smack in the no man’s land between bar crawls and bingo, somewhere just past go-carts and just shy of wine tastings. 

To celebrate my last weekend off for the foreseeable future (a good problem for a musician to have), I sought a hideout from the punishing heat and the conflicted nature of our nation’s birthday. July 4th was spent some miles closer to the ocean, completing a puzzle of seashells while listening to Metallica and such. “Still punk AF,” I whisper, ruthlessly searching, seeking a splotchy yellow with an arrow corner to destroy the last hole in a starfish.

But also, seriously, kinda hell yeah. Because I think a Made-In-The-USA puzzle plus carry-out Chinese feels correctly counter to whatever the hell else all this is. And as we set the 500th and final piece at precisely 9pm – the fireworks display celebrating our triumph beginning in the distance – I thought: America might need to do a jigsaw puzzle.

Hear me out. 

There’s very little simultaneous human experience anymore. We’re walled up in our narrowing feeds, listening to our curated playlists, with too many streaming movies to choose from. We need something to happen to us – to share in – that doesn’t involve a bomb, a box office, or a super volcano. 

So, we issue every American household the same 500-piece puzzle,* and a week to work on it. We establish a website to share our common experiences. On day five, we open a chatroom where those done with the puzzle can volunteer to help those struggling. Not a contest. No prizes. Just one nation…

Concerned that pieces are missing.

Wanting it to be THAT piece so bad, when it is only JUST SO ALMOST that piece. 

Checking the floor.

Reasoning with the pieces.

CONVINCED that pieces are missing. 

Checking the floor again.

Arrow corner, throwing star, innies and outies. Three outies. Three innies. Island (a hole/one piece empty). A language develops to define the specific shape of odd corners, or number of tabs. At a certain point, you’ve got to do better than pointing, grabbing, reaching over, and screaming. 

And from California to the New York island, from the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters, there might not actually be any human snowflakes. Only maybe seven puzzle personalities. You’re the group leader. You’re the abandoner. You’re the cheerleader. They’re better with shape recognition. She’s sorting piles by color and texture. And he keeps saying he’s “taking a break” while still at it, just too stubborn to give up.

Yes, as with all things, we gotta watch out for the Table Flippers. But they are rare, and often all talk. 

America, we almost definitely have all the pieces.

…

(checks floor again)

* * *

*It’s so ridiculous, of course, I thought about not sharing it at all. What about blind people? Children? The homeless? People working three jobs? Who’s paying to produce this little project? Without a prize, how do you make people do anything? Didn’t she think of that? The bots. The trolls. The scammers. Let alone, what image the puzzle could inoffensively depict (I mean, a sand dollar once robbed my step-cousin-in-law’s grandma behind a dune, for goddsakes!)? Why didn’t she think of everything and solve all the problems first? And maybe you’re feeling that, too; not knowing what to even dare suggest aloud because you can’t solve ALL the problems first. 

First, we “all come to look for America.”

PLUS:
JULY 11 - w/ ilyAIMY @ Monocacy Brewing (Frederick, MD)
JULY 17 - w/ Ayreheart @ Elk Run Vineyard (Mt. Airy, MD)
JULY 19 - w/ ilyAIMY @ Little Market Cafe (Ellicott City, MD)
JULY 24 - w/ ilyAIMY @ Worman's Mill Gazebo (Frederick, MD)

NEW VENUE! 
JULY 25 - w/ ilyAIMY @ Backwater Books 
(Ellicott City, MD)

JULY 31 - w/ ilyAIMY @ Comus Inn (Dickerson, MD)

FESTIVAL TIME!
AUG 9 - Heather + Rob @ Musikfest 
for Godfrey Daniels Day (Bethlehem, PA)

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