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Maybe I was allowed to watch “questionable” films as a child because I was more fixated on the soundtracks. I grew up on The Graduate and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and Dirty Dancing, and well before I understood what a “cougar,” or a “madam,” or “knocked up” was, I could sing all the words to “The Sound of Silence,” “I Will Always Love You,” and “Love is Strange.” As it happens, the summer after my senior year, I called my loverboy and he still didn’t answer, and so a teenage heartbreak ushered me into my most dubious movie experience yet. 

I see you shiver with ANTICI……

Today’s 2-Minute Tale
*Raises a fishnet-gloved hand* 

Hello, my name is Heather, and I was in a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast in college. Moreover, I was Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

After committing to my boyfriend’s college (and getting dumped sometime between senior week and summer camp counseling), some of his friends surprisingly adopted me and took me under their wing. The wing just happened to be sequin-encrusted and smeared with red lipstick. 

Peter and Roger were part of the University of Maryland cast known as The Satanic Mechanics (“I’ll get you a satanic mechanic - S&M!!!”). I knew almost nothing about the culture, but needed a community. And Rocky Horror’s nothing if not a haven for the “marginalized and disenfranchised.” A 1975 theatrical flop so bad - pulled within weeks - only to find success through tenacious fans and midnight screenings. 

Most of you know how it works, but if you’re still a “virgin:” A shadow cast pantomimes the performances in front of the projected movie for an audience encouraged to shout saucy double-entendres and callbacks in response to all the script’s ridiculous – and racy – lines. 

My friends figured my ex, also a company member, would give up on that, too. But he returned, alright, only to be cast as my unclad love interest, Rocky.

Y’all … my mom sewed his little gold swim trunks! Can you imagine?!

As awkward and dramatic and difficult as all that was, it was also completely liberating. One hell of a way to find yourself before you know who you are by pretending to be someone else a lot more shimmering and sure.

Being in The Rocky Horror Picture Show at 18 taught me a number of performance skills and shockingly wholesome life lessons. When you’re half-naked in front of hundreds of people, tube socks stuffed down your undies and boobs strapped down by an ace bandage under a corset, there’s very little room left for self-consciousness (and even less to sulk). You borrow boldness with that costume, bedazzle what ya got, and trade polished for compelling. Swagger and trash and art aren’t exclusive, but a recipe. The Tim Curry I became was effeminate and dominating. The Dolly Parton I grew up with was the girl next door and a pimp. 

Me, I’ll be just fine and dandy. 

Because in my childhood, everyone was in fabulous lingerie and singing. What Dolly Parton and Tim Curry taught me is that campy, joyful spectacle is an alchemy that elevates the profane, and very few things are actually filthy. If Dolly can look you in the eye, dress cut down to there, sweetly singing “there’s nothing dirty going on” while standing smack in the middle of a brothel, then maybe the pleasure isn’t the dirty part. Maybe the judgment is.

* * *

……PATION.

With the insult-to-injury passing of Peter Cullen (a voice that comforted me as Eeyore/Optimus Prime precisely because it gave me hope of being sad but still powerful), it’s been a rough week for my generation. We could all use a couple kind rhinestones, or a whole Saturday morning of cartoons. 
All I’ve got is an ilyAIMY album nearing completion, and gigs. 
Show calendar – roll out. 

Aug 28 - Little Market Cafe w/ ilyAIMY (Ellicott City, MD)
Aug 29 - Dark Horse w/ ilyAIMY (Annapolis, MD)
Sept 3 - September Sunset Thursdays w/ ilyAIMY (Annapolis, MD)
Sept 4 - Loft 129 w/ ilyAIMY (Cumberland, MD)
Sept. 11 - Evangeline's w/ ilyAIMY (St. Louis, MO)
Sept. 16 - Mansions on 5th w/ ilyAIMY (Pittsburgh, PA)

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(even if it is over at the Frankenstein place).

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